HAPPINESS?!

Most people I know are searching for happiness or pretending to be deliriously happy just so that they can take comfort in that illusion. None of them can define what exactly it is nor can describe a definite path to it. I mostly think happiness for most people means something that keeps them going through the routine of life which might not give them joy.

I like to think I am a happy person. I do manage to enjoy most of my life. I derive joy from unexpected things in life. Sometimes I feel very happy when I am by myself maybe walking down the street or sitting in the room reading a book or dancing like there is no tomorrow. And then comes the other times when I think I cannot be happy without company that is my friends and family. My happiness basically depends on my whimsical mind. Happiness is a state of mind. It is the position from which we do not judge, for we cannot. It is the satisfaction of knowing we continue to exist among other people, animals, things, time and places, and that even after we may cease to exist, we are remembered forever as our energy and action resound and ripple through time and space.

Basically I have learnt to go with the flow and enjoy the feelings of joy and to bear the feelings of sorrow instead of asking deep philosophical questions that lead to further questions that cannot be answered thereby leaving you frustrated. So, be happy! after all you have only one life! :-)

SHOULD MEN GET PATERNITY LEAVE?

Why not? In today’s world where gender equality is slowly taking importance, men getting paternity leave does not seem like an alien idea. Maternity leaves are never objectionable however when it comes to paternity leaves it becomes one of the most controversial topics of all times. Reasons for maternity leaves are well justified as the women have to carry the child with them as part of their body until the child is born but there are justified reasons for the paternity leave as well. Men have just as much right, need and obligation to spend quality time bonding with and caring for a newborn. With families living isolated from close relatives, it may be difficult for the mother's family to support her after the birth of the baby as was tradition. Now introducing paternity leave, the father can play this important role.

Men should get paternity leave from work for a reasonable amount of time, because becoming a parent is a life-changing event that they need to be a part of. Statistics have proven that men that are an active part of their children's births and are present for the few weeks after have a stronger bond with their children, making them better fathers, and giving the children a better environment to grow up in.

When a woman gives birth to a child, it is emotionally and physically draining. If a father has the opportunity to stay home for the first couple of weeks to care for both his wife and his new child, it will make a world of difference. I don't believe that paternity leave needs to be several months like maternity leave is. But giving men a few weeks will have a positive effect on home, family life, and happiness.

There is always a moral support when the man is there in the house. A man on paternity leave may dedicatedly serve his partner. Not all out of house assignments can be carried out by a pregnant woman. Giving the maternity leaves alone can’t help the women completely as how would they overcome the needs at critical times. No one understands her better than her husband.

Gone are the days when there used to be joint families. Most of the policies existing today are based on policies formulated during those days only. Nowadays people prefer living lives their way. When the number of members in the family are restricted to husband and wife only, it becomes difficult for the lady to cope with even the minor requirements. It is not always feasible to call the neighbors especially in the metropolitan where all are busy and you really do not know much about them.

In a world where nobody has the time to stand and take a deep breath paternity leaves come in handy as it allows the men to take a break from their hectic schedules and give time to their family. It is a common scene these days that due to work pressure the employees cancels or postpones number of personal commitments which are seldom recognized by the organizations. Certain jobs require lot of outstation travels hence they get the least time to support their partner when she needs them the most. Sometimes the irony is that the traveling is increased during those critical periods leaving the men regretted forever. Paternity leaves will help people in this sector.

 I would like to conclude by saying that both the father and the mother should get a set amount of time they can distribute among themselves as parental leave. This would allow flexibility and is the most fair option. Only allowing women to get leave is sexist, but requiring an equal split would ignore the personal needs of families.

A HORRIBLE STORY

It’s been a hard week but what was harder was hearing about the brutal rape that took place in Delhi. Another life mercilessly destroyed by a few disgusting and pathetic animals. I really feel angry yet helpless to do anything. So all I want to say is that I pray the girl gets a new lease of life, a life where loved ones can help her get over her pain and slowly rise herself to be the phenomenal woman that she is. Here is few select lines from a song given to me by my best friend that got me through some tough times and I just want to dedicate it to her. This song for me is about forgetting the past and getting back on my feet stronger.

STILL I RISE

          -Mary Angelou

You may write me down in history

With your bitter, twisted lies,

You may trod me in the very dirt

But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

Just like moons and like suns,

With the certainty of tides,

Just like hopes springing high,

Still I rise.

Did you want to see me broken?

Bowed head and lowered eyes?

Shoulders falling down like teardrops.

Weakened by my soulful cries.

You may shoot me with your words,

You may cut me with your eyes,

You may kill me with your hatefulness,

But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Out of the huts of history’s shame

              I rise

Up from the past that’s rooted in pain

              I rise

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear

              I rise

Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear

             I rise

I am the dream and the hope

            I rise

            I rise

            I rise

INFLATED EGOS

It seems like no matter what you do you just can’t please some people. You might do everything they ask to the T but oh no! You can never satisfy or please such people. Their whole existence is to make sure your life is hell on earth. The worse part?? They nearly succeed!

One can never be a perfectionist. No matter what we do we tend to forget a tiny detail, a slip here and there. These people wait for that tiny slip up, pounce on it and immediately start dissecting it till they manage to somehow succeed in leeching the joy out of every little thing good thing  that we are secretly proud of.

If cases are reversed and we somehow manage to find fault with them…. Omg! They act like pariahs that even a multi Oscar winner would find difficult to emulate. They can do no wrong and the person who might unwittingly suggest such a thing becomes a sinner worse than eve.

This is like a disease and the only way to treat this is to give them a HUGE dose of their own medicine daily till they realize what annoying little prats they are! Well wishful thinking!! Knowing such people personally and having spent a huge amount of time with them I know that they would just find some other way to turn it around and escape unscathed. I personally like to take refuge under thinly veiled sarcasm and fantasies of trashing their untreatable egos!

ANTICORRUPTION – A LOST CAUSE?

Just as I thought finally a start towards ending corruption and here comes a time where the moment has lost its glory and is back to being a feeble voice among many. Has the country become so hopeless that they choose to ignore the ray of hope that was offered? Or is it that there are no more untainted people around anymore? It really frustrates me to see most people turning a blind eye or just sitting around talking about it but doing nothing more than that. If each person had the initiative to stand up against it the world would be a much happier place!

The root cause that I am raving and ranting is that recently I got shouted at because I chose to protest against how people with influence and deep pockets get their job done fast while a less unfortunate person has to walk in and out of various government servants offices to at least elicit a rude and vague promise that their job will be done. My uncle was all in for shouting at me for believing in what I did saying what can I do to stop it? And that all I would get in return was my work not being done so its better to turn a blind eye!

People who sit around talking about it but doing nothing to improve the conditions are just as bad as people who turn a blind eye towards corruption. The sad part? Most people have given up hope entirely thinking what can one person do against so many?! This type of thinking is exactly the reason nobody gets anywhere close to accomplishing the said objective. I say be the person to stand up and make a difference because every person matters.