A Warning on Spontaneous Combustion

                                                    by Stuart McLean

O whisky is the king of drinks,
Renowned the world o’er,
But here’s a word o’ caution,
Tae think of when ye pour.
There’s a certain combination,
That tastes so very good,
But when it hits your tummy,
And mixes with your food.
That’s when the trouble starts,
For yer pleasure hits overload,
And half an hour later,
Ye’ll suddenly explode.
So there ye are in the pub,
Completely engulfed in flames,
And yer good wife’s dashing home,
Tae lodge insurance claims.
Well now that I have told ye,
Don’t say ye’ve no’ been warned,
So don’t try it oot yersel’,
Or ye’ll soon be bein’ mourned.

 

A rude, rude world!

I read an interesting article in the newspaper about how in this modern age we have lost the art of communicating without being rude. In a way I find it to be true. Who can blame us when gadgets have replaced human contact. I can say this with certainty because I am guilty of perpetrating this crime myself. Meeting someone in person has been replaced by emails, texts and just calling. Family dinners have been marred by the presence of television, laptops. Communication has become impersonal. People live in their own little world which they have created and seem to not care who or what they talk or say something to. It is so incredibly annoying when you are trying to make conversation and the other person keeps checking their phone! People talk about etiquette and class but checking your phone or just interrupting a person without excusing yourself…how classy is that? I can only say how can you ask me to eat, dress and sit properly when you yourself haven’t mastered the basics in manners? It’s like people get a kick out of being rude.  Gandhi once said “be the change you want to see in others”. He was a very wise man. If only people would actually follow it without simply quoting it!(let me clarify…I do…at least I make an effort to follow what I preach)! I am not asking anybody to stay out of touch with their virtual world but at least have the decency to excuse yourself before you attend to something instead of acting like a pompous jackass. There is also I fine line between teasing and being rude. Most of us deliberately say something and pass it of as a joke. Well here is an eye opener, it’s not at all funny but just plain rude. The funny part, most people demand a favor, apparently the concept of a “request” is mind boggling to the great minds of the technological age. It has come down to the fact that people are surprised when they hear “please” and “thank you”. Don’t even get me started on the customer service these days. All I want is people to step out of their narrow worlds, look around them and see that humans are their companions and not gadgets. To be emotional, to feel, to laugh, and to cry is what humans do. Tone down the condescension and superiority complex. Try really hard to be polite and step away from you gadgets when you are talking to someone. Do not be rude without a reason. I won’t be winning the first place for politeness but I do try. I do have to agree that there are a lot of exceptions to the rule which is why I say after all this if the person still rubs you in the wrong way go out and kick some ass with flair!

“I don't have to agree with you to like you or respect you.”

― Anthony Bourdain

For reasons that are my own I have always felt feelings of contempt and scorn for the opposite sex. I never tried to hide it. I just cannot bring myself to completely trust them. It was very easy to figure out what ever they think. I rarely met a guy who is worth paying attention to or even getting to know. I was technically a man-hater. I thought they were superficial and would go after the first pretty thing that smiled at them. To contradict this I met some really nice guys over the past two years. Thought it did not drastically change my opinion of men in general it still brought around considerable changes. Even though I may not be their biggest fan I have come to not categorize every single man I meet in the same criteria. Today was one of the days I actually appreciated a man. I do not know his name but he is the husband of a rape victim. He was betrothed to the victim for over a year. That was when she was raped. This guy actually stood up for the girl and said he wanted to marry her only. He convinced his family to agree to the union and now he is a devoted husband. He is an epitome of what qualities I think a man should have. Men like these are rare. They do not advertise what they do nor do they see what they do as something great. They just follow their inborn and inculcated values of respecting a woman. I do have a few men in my life who are admirable in every way but I still think if there were more men like him, I wouldn’t be so cynical and the world too would be a friendlier place for a woman to live in.

I know why the caged bird sings

                                                  Maya Angelou

A free bird leaps on the back
Of the wind and floats downstream
Till the current ends and dips his wing
In the orange suns rays
And dares to claim the sky.

But a BIRD that stalks down his narrow cage
Can seldom see through his bars of rage
His wings are clipped and his feet are tied
So he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
Of things unknown but longed for still
And his tune is heard on the distant hill for
The caged bird sings of freedom.

The free bird thinks of another breeze
And the trade winds soft through
The sighing trees
And the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright
Lawn and he names the sky his own.

But a caged BIRD stands on the grave of dreams
His shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
His wings are clipped and his feet are tied
So he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with
A fearful trill of things unknown
But longed for still and his
Tune is heard on the distant hill
For the caged bird sings of freedom.