CHOICE

I take pride in the fact that I have read a lot of books and experienced a lot of stuff that I can relate to most situations but no book or experience could have prepared me for losing someone I love. According to the books it’s supposed to hurt…hurt like hell but all I feel is a void. A great, big, fat empty void. I would have picked the physical pain any day of this feeling of emptiness. It seems like all the memories long forgotten choose to surface now to widen the void. I never thought losing someone would be so hard. I thought I was different. I thought I could separate myself from feeling it but it's just too hard.

 Life is full of choices that make you want to question its purpose. I always looked forward to these choices. Saw them as a challenge. The recent choice I had to make was the worst I ever made till now and it makes me repeatedly want to turn back time and wish it had never happened. I lost a loved one to that and I wonder was it really worth it? 

We all make choices in life but the hard thing is to live with them. I made mine and I will regret it for a while but I hold on to the hope that one day maybe I’ll see it in a different light and that day I’ll start to finally heal.

For now I think I’ll take comfort in a quote I came across… “There is a universal truth we all have to accept whether we want to or not. Everything eventually ends. Be it autumn, a good book or parting with an old friend. Even though I’ve disliked endings… leaves fall, you close the book and you say goodbye. That day was one of those days for me…that day I said goodbye to everything that was familiar, everything that was comfortable. I am moving on… but just because I am leaving and it hurts there are some people who are a part of us they’ll be with us no matter what. They are our solid ground, our north star and the small clear voices in our heart that will be with us…always.

Cloony The Clown

                                         by Shel Silverstein

 

I'll tell you the story of Cloony the Clown
Who worked in a circus that came through town.
His shoes were too big and his hat was too small,
But he just wasn't, just wasn't funny at all.
He had a trombone to play loud silly tunes,
He had a green dog and a thousand balloons.
He was floppy and sloppy and skinny and tall,
But he just wasn't, just wasn't funny at all.
And every time he did a trick,
Everyone felt a little sick.
And every time he told a joke,
Folks sighed as if their hearts were broke.
And every time he lost a shoe,
Everyone looked awfully blue.
And every time he stood on his head,
Everyone screamed, "Go back to bed!"
And every time he made a leap,
Everybody fell asleep.
And every time he ate his tie,
Everyone began to cry.
And Cloony could not make any money
Simply because he was not funny.
One day he said, "I'll tell this town
How it feels to be an unfunny clown."
And he told them all why he looked so sad,
And he told them all why he felt so bad.
He told of Pain and Rain and Cold,
He told of Darkness in his soul,
And after he finished his tale of woe,
Did everyone cry? Oh no, no, no,
They laughed until they shook the trees
With "Hah-Hah-Hahs" and "Hee-Hee-Hees."
They laughed with howls and yowls and shrieks,
They laughed all day, they laughed all week,
They laughed until they had a fit,
They laughed until their jackets split.
The laughter spread for miles around
To every city, every town,
Over mountains, 'cross the sea,
From Saint Tropez to Mun San Nee.
And soon the whole world rang with laughter,
Lasting till forever after,
While Cloony stood in the circus tent,
With his head drooped low and his shoulders bent.
And he said,"THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT -
I'M FUNNY JUST BY ACCIDENT."
And while the world laughed outside.
Cloony the Clown sat down and cried.

Favourite quotes!!

Favourite quotes!!

Snippets!!

I find these amazing quotes that i will be putting up under the heading favorite quotes. today was my test in Coimbatore and now it seems like i have five days to make the biggest decision in my life! I need to figure out where I'll be studying and be sure about it with no regrets and all i have is five days! guess I'll think it as miss-glass-half-full would think...at least i have five days!:) Also i always thought best friends were people you could talk to about everything...obviously not. It seems like people love making distinctions. All i say is fine by me but think twice before yelling at someone when you are put in the same exact position! love my relatives...they seem to be the most supportive with the exception of my sis! she is an amazing person and thought i might yell, fight and say i hate her at the end of the day she is one of the few people who will stand with me till i reach the finish line!

Favourite qoutes!!